E-Filler Archives

I was killing time on Google Video and I ran across this. It's very bizarre and very cool.

Well, you got your voter card a few weeks ago and now, finally, it's time. Go vote!

Welcome to the FIRST EVER instalment of Ask Brian!

Every once in a while I will give some advice to an e-filler.ca playa such as yourself on how to survive in the competitive sport simply known to men as The Game. Please enjoy!

Dear Brian

Up to the past few weeks have I have been having unreal sex with my girlfriend, but now we have tried virtually everything, and I'm bored. I wanna stick it in her bum, but she’s not down, what do you suggest.
thanks in advance
Bum Pirate

Dear Bum Pirate,
Thanks for being the first write-in!

So, let me start by stating that by this time you've already tried the ol' Drunken' oops sorry, wrong door trick. I've consulted the female species and apparently that trick has been deemed "inappropriate". Go figure.
What I suggest first is that you check out the "ins and outs" of bum sex. There are risks involved in anal and you should know about them. You can check some of these out online here

So you still want to go downtown brown town? This is something that you have to be open about with your partner. Discuss it with them, tell them why you want to, how it turns your crank, or how you've fanaticised about it since high school. Don't tell them it's because you want you "brown belt" or because all your friends are doing it. I've been ummm... told that route doesn't work.

So, if your partner is down, then grab your lube and get freaky with your bad selves. If they aren’t down, well, you can always keep trying the drunken' pokes until they eventually give in. Or if you're into going to prison, until they pass out.


Dear Brian

Last night i was able to fulfill my life long dream of sleeping with a genuine cougar. It was awesome, she rocked my world, and taught me many great lessons. But this morning when i was taking a piss, it really stung, what has she done to me?
i pee freely


Dear I Pee,

Dude, it's only the next morning. If its isn't simply crusty love remains on your member it's probably a bladder infection. Go get a prescription from your doctor and next time take a leak after you hump. It's good for you and it helps you avoid all that cuddling
garbage.

Remember that story about the couple who tried to fake finding a finger tip in the chili at Wendy's? Well, they finally got sentenced today...9 and 12 years respectivly...wow.

It's been a while since I've seen anything that was really revolutionary in terms of PC periphers (no, a USB fan is not revolutionary)...check out this keyboard with OLED keys. I would love to get one of these....I could see it being big in the developer world, since one very popular IDE (*cough*VS*cough*) has a zillion shortcuts....hold down shift and volia: The keys display their new meanings.

I would like to congratulate Andrew D. for his Master's Thesis Proposal Presentation. He gave the first and only presentation I've seen to have a penis on one of the slides. (In comp-sci no less...) Way to go...you've raised the bar for all of us.

(Yes, I realize the presentation was last week, but I'm a little slow with the updates...)

According to Google I'm a virus or spyware...check it out:

Has anyone else ever seen this before (or know what causes it)? I was on the 11th page of results before it came up...

Check out this little slice of propiganda.

Do we really want more coal burning power plants?

Over the break I was exposed to the mysterious world of nerdcore, which I thought I'd share with you all. One of the more controversial figure is ytcracker (say it out loud if you don't get it) of spamtec. Feel free to watch a spamtec video. Warning: rated PG-13 for unapologetic support for spam.

Which is what makes ytcracker and stc so hard to support for a lot of nerdcore fans. On the one hand, his stuff is pretty good, it's free (he believes all music should be free), he released an album where all the samples came from NES games (which I've listened to: it's good). On the other hand, he's pro-spam and supports himself largely through spam.

Stephen Harper, you're doing it again. Things were looking up, then you went and started talking about missle defense and Kyoto...it's almost like you don't want to win.

Did anyone watch the debate on TV this evening? I missed it but caught the CBC recap. I already know how I'm voting, and what I saw didn't really change much. I thought Stephen Harper looked less scary than usual, and was much more composed than Paul Martin. The PQ and NDP were basically left out of the recap...

The BBC is currently running this story: Violent games 'affect behaviour'

Maybe all that Quake wasn't so harmless...

This is posted on behalf of Andrew.

A moving interview in Saudi Arabia about women's rights under Sharia law: http://www.memritv.org/search.asp?ACT=S9&P1=978

Keep watching at least until the part where the interviewer asks her "please don't tell the details".

A "Christian Libertarian" (though I don't know how he claims to be either) who is writing against women's rights w.r.t. rape: http://voxday.blogspot.com/2005/11/rape-myth.html

In the subsequent comments for this blog entry, one (non-Islamic) participant sees the wisdom in Sharia law since women can't be trusted:

"He said she said is worthless. In the middle east a woman needs a Man as a witness to charge another man with rape. Women are not smart enough to realize what they are doing to innocent men."

Of course, he's slightly off here: Sharia law requires 4 male witnesses, and the accuser runs the risk of execution if she speaks out and fails to prove her case: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honor_killing#In_countries_with_Islamic_law

To top it all off, here's another little tidbit from the blog's comments:

"I'm always very skeptical of women who claim they were raped- especially to completion- because it is actually extremely difficult to rape a struggling, dry woman. Now, if there's a weapon involved I could see why a woman might not resist, but for the most part I think that if a woman regrets having sex, she thinks it was rape."

Any theories on how huge groups of men get these disgusting ideas in their heads? When it comes to women they exhibit a "callous lack of empathy" and "failure to accept responsibility" which are traits of being a psychopath. While some of these people, as adults, eventually cite religious texts as justification, something tells me this way of thinking must be formed in childhood --- it's too fucked up for a rational adult to come to these conclusions.

I found this little gem over on thedailywtf.com:

Damnit...guess who beat me to having their own Wikipedia article. Yep...the Saugeen Stripper. It's fairly lengthly too...

Hey Jesus,
Do me a favor and pass that dutchie to the left had side bro!

Im interested in an non-admin Windows install of java. Anyone know if thats possible?
Brian

Yeah, it's a little late, but happy new year everyone. (First post of 2006...w00t!)